A mission mishap!
by actionliker
Summary: A drunken Tsunade sends Naruto a rank "S" mission that was suppose to be Kakashi's, Naruto is going to have a problem in his hands when he'll stumble upon a kunoichi, set after sasuke retrevial arc and before jirayia training. Narutoxoc minor, lemon
1. Chapter 1 Wrong mission!

Disclaimer: I do now own Naruto and if I did Orochimaru, Sasuke and Kabuto would be straight and Sakura is useless and a whore and Naruto will have a beautiful girlfriend that makes the canon girls look like a joke.

I know that you think im discontinuing all my stories, and i have to say...thats half true. Im really really busy and school is really starting to be a downer in my life and im starting to lose interest in wrting to please you all and im so sorry and i definetly have NO EXCUSES.

**Konoha's flying thunder god**-I may need more time what to write for the next chapter

**Pity from the white origami**-I might give up on this but hey...you'll never know

**Get em Kyuubi**-I ran out of "funny" to slap on there

**Sister's lust**-Im still thinking

**Summery: A drunken Tsunade sends Naruto a rank "S" mission that was suppose to be Kakashi's, Naruto is going to have a problem in his hands when he'll stumble upon a kunoichi, set after sasuke retrevial arc and before jirayia training. Narutoxoc minor, lemon**

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**CHAPTER 1 WRONG MISSON**

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It was another wonderfull, peacefull morning for Konohagakure. The birds are chirping happily for several seconds later...only to eaten by a bigger predator, civilians and shinobi alike are stretching their muscles only to find themselves pulling a muscle. Izumo and Kotestu who are currently guarding the gate had fallen into a deep, DEEP sleep during thier duties so the burglers/bandits easily looted houses that were empty at the moment. So in other words...it was...

BOOOOOOOM!!

...a not so peaceful morning due to Tsunade's drunken rage.

Yep, it was another morning ritual for Konoha again.

- Tsunade's angry yells and flying bodies (of the misfortunate workers who annoys her) were seen/heard for miles.

- Screams of **"HENTAI!!" **or **"PERVERT!!"** from the hot springs and the "TOAD SAGE" Jiraiya was running in the speed of light as if his life depends on it.

- 95 percent of the village were woken up mostly from **"FLAMES OF YOUTH!" **in addition of **"GAI-SENSEI!!" **and** "LEE!!" **

**"GAI-SENSEI!"**

**"LEE!!"**

**"GAI-SENSEI!"**

**"LEE!!"**

**"GAI-SENSEI!"**

**"LEE!!**

**"GAI-SENSEI!"**

**"LEE!!"**

**(sob) "OH GAAAAI-SENSEEEEI!!"**

**(sob) "OH LEEEEEEE!!"**

"FOR KAMI SAKE YOU TWO!! SHUT UP!!"

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"Oooooohh" Moaned Tsunade the legendary slug Sanin and also the "legendary sucker." She resisted the urge to bang her head against the desk. It has been a rough week for her, a week of endless stamping, endless signatures of countless forms, and most of all...

She hadn't had any sake for the past week either!

_'Damn you Shizune..." _She thought angrily and eyed the said person in front of her, in the raven hair's arms was...

_'...More paper work...!' _ The blonde thought miserably and her hand twitched, oh how desperate was she to grab the sake bottle behind her and chug like she never chugged sake before!

"Good morning Tsunade-Sama!" Chirped a happy Shizune and slammed the stack of paper on the desk, oblivious to the full pent glare her superior sent at HER direction.

"Good morning Shizune..." She growled.

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**"**No Naruto! I will not go out with you and thats final!" Shrieked a 12 year old girl who wore a cute, bright red dress, bubblegum pink hair, bright green eyes and a rather large forehead. Behind her was a boy who was also 12 years of age. He wore a rather clownish orange jumpsuit and can be seen for miles. Bright sunny blonde hair, a remarkable tan skin complextion and stunning blue eyes. And what else is remarkable is the three lines on his cheeks that resemble whiskers, a sign of a curse.

"C'mon Sakura-chaaaan! Just this once!" He once again got another answer which was harsher then the last.

Uzumaki Naruto, was child of many wonders and also Konoha's resident Jinchuuriki

12 years ago when the village of the leaves was a peaceful place to live, (Well, at least more "peaceful" then it is now...) A Kyuubi no Youko or rather "Nine tailed fox demon/spirit" attack and nearly destroyed the village. Many brave souls fought and parished to keep the overgrown fox at bay. They all nearly lost hope until one man name Namikaze Minato the Yondaime Hokage or rather the fourth Hokage of Konohagakure no sato. Many cheered and died by Kyuubi's ever so deadly claws before they could even cheer again. It was a long and brutal battle but in the end the Kyuubi was defeated by a jutsu known as **SHIKI FUUN** which kills the user and seal the victim into another object.

The Yondaime Hokage used the forbidden jutsu to trap the demon and seal it into a newborn infant.

And that infants is...Uzumaki Naruto.

As a "Jinchuuriki"...they are known to be shunned and ridiculed. They grow up alone and miserbly. Most however gone insane and bloodthirsy and powerful. But Naruto in another case...

**"NO NARUTO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!!" **

...Still can't take the hint that his childhood crush won't go on a single date with him.

Feeling rejected, he turned his back on the fuming pink girl. Soon when he's out of sight. Sakura blinked before realizing what she done.

_'Maybe I went a bit too far with him? Nah, he'll get over it...he __**always **__get over it...'_

Oh how wrong/right she is...

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A preteen blonde boy was visible in the crowd and was trodding sadly.

_'Aw maaan...'_

_**'TCH...JEEZ...' **_Naruto froze as a familier demonic voice echoed throughout his young naive mind._** 'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SEE IN THAT PINK SKANK OF A**_ _**FLESHBAG...'**_

Naruto blinked before shouting outloud.

"DON'T CALL HER A SKANK-er!" He quickly clapped both hand on his mouth as he noticed his outburst caused the people look at him funny. Soon the stares becomes glare when they realize who it was and went back to their reguler days but not before saying "demon brat/noisy brat/loud greenthorn" under their breath.

_'Jeez, thank a lot...hey wait...HOW CAN YOU TALK IN MY HEAD!?_

_**'WELL...DUE TO YOUR BATTLE WITH THAT SHARINGAN BRAT...'**_ He growled and emphrased the "Sharingan". _**'THE SEAL THAT HOLDS ME HAS LIGHTEN A BIT, MAKI-'**_

_'AW MAN! You mean I have to listen to __**YOU**__ everywhere I go!?'_

_**'INSOLENT BRAAAAAT!! But yes...'**_

_'Aaaaw maaaan...'_

_**'Silence! Besides I'm bored, ask that fat chest women for a mission or something, since the seal has lightened a bit, I can now smell, see and touch the outside world...NOW GO BOY!' **_Feeling defeated, he heeded the demon's orders.

_'Maybe this could take my mind off of Sakura-chan...'_

**(HOKAGE TOWER)**

A small pop and a sound of what seems to be a desperate moan.

"Maybe a small sip couldn't hurt..." Whispered Tsunade as she lowered the sake bottle to her lips.

SLUURP!

"..."

SLUUUURP!

_**"'..." **_Tsunade smacked her lips before looking greedily at her bottle of grande sake.

"Aw the hell with it..." She said finally as she began chugging the cool liquid.

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"TSUNADE BAACHAAN! KONOHA'S FUTURE HOKAGE IS HEEEREE!!" screamed Naruto as he burst through the door, then he pointed at her direction with a dramatic effect. " AND I DEMAND FOR A MISSION!!"

Tsunade was a mess. The documents were everywhere. Scrolls were lying everywhere. ink are...everywhere... A man body size hole was visible on the wall on her right. She had a stamp on her right hand and sa large bottle of what seems to be sake on her left. Also her cheeks were flushed and her face seems to be in daze...also...

**...is that a unconsious JOUNIN on the floor!?**

His answer was a drunken moan that came from her "Hm? Naruto? A mission?" She then focused as much as her intoxicated mind could. "...Oh yeah..." Her hand messily flopped on the table as if looking for something. WIth a small "aha!" She grabbed a small decorated red scroll and threw it at Naruto who nearly dropped it. "There, it's a rank D mission..." She said as she brought the bottle of sake to her lips again until she was intrupted by a loud yell from the young demon vessel.

"D RANK?" He roared.

"YES! A **'D' **RANK!!" The older women roared back.

.

Feeling defeated (again) he pouted cutely. "Why!?" He then "eep"ed in fear as he made eye contact with Tsunade.

"Na-Ru-to!" She growled.

"Ok! Ok! Im going!" He cowered.

Tsunade Baachan is **scary...**then again...wasn't she always?

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_**'MISSiON! MISSION! MISSION!!' **_Chanted Kyuubi much to Naruto's annoyance. After being threatened by Tsunade, he sulked for the rest of the day. He was walking slowly to his favorate place to eat before the fox annoyed him with his loud chant.

"Why are you so excited all of a sudden? I thought demons only think about blood, guts and destruction." He asked, Kyuubi answered his thoughts.

_**'Yeah but since im cramped in this damnation of a cage, it's boring...' **_He paused and let out a slight chuckle. If possible, Naruto can imagine the smiling face of the ancient beast. _**'...As you already know...the seal...-'**_

"...Has lightened a bit so you can hear touch and something against my wil...l" Naruto finished dully. The damn fox repeated this a hundred times!

_**'DON'T FINISH MY LINES BOY!! But anyways yeah and if possible...' **_Kyuubi's smile turned into a dark grin._** 'You'll might fight powerful entities as you go...' **_Confused, Naruto stopped in his tracks.

_'why?'_

_**'Check the scroll boy...'**_

He blinked and looked at the scroll in his hand. Hesitating, he slowly unravaled the scroll.

"N-NO WAY!" The whiskered teen shouted.

Meanwhile Kyuubi's grin grew even more wild.

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**S CLASS MISSION**

**LOCATION: LAND OF EARTH**

**COUNTRY: IWAGAKURE**

**CLIENT TO FULFILL DUTY: HATAKE KAKASHI**

**MISSION: RECEIVE LOST SCROLL **

**REASON: DEAR HATAKE KAKASHI, DURING THE LAST GREAT SHINOBI WAR YOU WERE ASSIGNED TO GUARD THE SCROLL UNTIL IT IS SAFELY TRANSPORTED TO OUR ALLIES, THE LAND OF WIND, SUNAGAKURE. HOWEVER, DUE TO UNEXPLAINABLE ACTIONS DUE TO YOUR PART, YOU FAILED TO GUARD THE SCROLL AND COSTED KONOHA GREATLY. HOWEVER, THIS IS A CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF FROM THIS SHAME FOREVER AND RETREIVE THE SCROLL YOU FAILED TO PROTECT.**

**THE SCROLL IS LOCATED IN ONE OF THE FORGOTTEN TUNNELS UNDERNEATH THE GROUNDS WHERE THE LEAF AND STONE NINJA HAD CLASHED.**

**SIGNED SENJU TSUNADE, GODAIME HOKAGE.**

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Naruto's hands began shaking, in fact in whole body began shaking! So much the scroll in his hand dropped ungracefully to the ground.

_**'Hmf, I guess that 'booby women' gave you the wrong mission huh brat?' **_He recieved no response.

_**'Eh? Don't tell me your actually scared brat?' **_If Kyuubi was infront of his vessel he would been "Rasengan"ed by the excited blonde.

"NO WAY! This is an oppertunity of a lifetime!" Naruto gushed with escesy. "I'm going on a rank "S" mission as a genin! Oh I can't wait when I comeback succesfully and see the look on their faces" Naruto cleched his fist. His beautiful sky blue eyes were replaced by gold stars. He can see it now! Neji, Chouji, Kiba, Lee are gonna be SOOOOO jealous and he might even win 'Sakura-chan's attention once and for all! The thought of it is making him crazy!"

With sheer resolve and confidence. He raced to his destination.

"YEEEAAAHH!!"

**(HOKAGE TOWER)**

"Hokage-Sama you called for my assistance?" Said the ever so lazy copy ninja Hatake Kakashi as he strode to the drunk Hokage who was chugging her second bottle of sake (which she usually is/do). Tsunade eyed him as much as her drunken mind could. "Ah Kakashi, do you know how LATE you are!?" She thundered. Kakashi cringed and scratched his head nervously. "H-hai!'

"THREE HOUUURS!!"

"G-Gomen"

Knowning it was useless, Tsunade flopped back to her chair.

"Kakashi...This mission..." She wobbled a bit. "Is very important to Konoha..." She tossed a red scroll similer to the one she gave to Naruto. "Becare Kakashi...fail this and I'll maim you...down there..." Making the masked man gulp in sheer fear and resolve.

He nodded. "Yes Hokage-sama..."

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After a while Kakashi was walking calmly around the village. His thoughts was upon the mission Tsunade gave him. Reaching into his pockets he pulled out a familer red scroll. He opened it and concetrated on its contents.

_'It must be important if Hokage-sama is depending on me in high expedition...'_

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**D CLASS MISSION**

**LOCATION: LAND OF FIRE**

**COUNTRY: KONOHAGAKURE**

**MISSION: TAKE CARE OF DAIYMO'S WIFE**

**REASON: LORD DAIYMO'S WIFE HAD TRIPPED ONTO THE STAIRS WHILE SEARCHING 'TORA' HER CAT. YOUR MISSION IS TO ASSIST THE LORD'S WIFE UNTIL SHE IS CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE HER WELL BEING.**

**YOU ARE EXPECTED TO CARE FOR HER FOR ONE WEEK.**

**SIGNED SENJU TSUNADE, GODAIME HOKAGE**

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Kakashi read the contents of the scroll for two more times before blinking dully.

"Wha?"

END OF CHAPTER 1

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I have school so don't expect me to update soon!


	2. Chapter 2: Day 3

**Well...only 7 reviews, 399 hits, 15 favs and 27 alerted...I say not bad, anyways here chapter 2. Since summer started for me, and im bored...I decided to finish chapter 8 for "Konoha's flying thunder god" and chapter 2 for "A mission mishap"**

_Previous chapter:_

_Kakashi read the contents of the scroll for two more times before blinking dully._

_"Wha?"_

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Chapter 2: Day 3

Grumbling and grouching and fatigued. Naruto tiredly jumping from rock to rock, trees to trees and dog shit to dog shit.

It has been 3 three days since he left Konoha and complete the** ("Awesome" thought Naruto) **mission in Iwagakure. Anyone who knows the exact location of The village Hidden In Stone and walked from Konoha by trained shinobi speed would be there in a a day or two. However, due to his short attention span which is the size of a teaspoon, Naruto Uzumaki never knew where Iwagakure was...so for the last two days he was going by wrong leads, wrong directions by the people he asked and he's sick of it! He sick of it all! It was until now he reached his destination as the scenery is now a wasteland of rocks and breathtaking mountains which indicates he is now standing on the land of earth.

However that didn't help his mood and it gotten ever worst as he felt something big, gooey and smelly under his sandals.

_'Shit shit shit, dog shit...cat shit...even moose shit! WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SHIT UNDER EVERY PLACE I LAND MY FEET ON!!'_

Kyuubi snickered at his vessels luck._** 'Hate to break it to ya but what your standing on is actually dog shit...again, and I have to admit...whatever dog made that gotta be huge or eats a lot of crap ...'**_

"Dog shit! Moose shit! IT'S STILL SMELLY STINKY SHIT SO WHAT'S THE BIG DIFFERENCE!!" Naruto roared out, his voice echoed throughout the empty wasteland.

_**'The poop that came from the animal are different...'**_

Bristling with anger, the blonde haired urchin freaked out. "Don't you get smarty on me mister smarty pants!" Kyuubi replied with an arrogant remark.

_**'Im not being a mister "smarty pants"...it's fact...' **_The thousand year old fox demon blinked a bit. _**'...And I also don't wear pants BECAUSE IM A GIGANTIC DEMON AND I PROBALY WON'T FIND A PAIR OF PANTS THAT COULD ACTUALLY FIT ...' **_It was a half lie because Kyuubi IS big but he can also shrink to anysize he want but only as a shape and body of a fox.

Naruto shot his hands in the air then used both hands to tug on his unruly spiky blonde hair and let out a deafening "AAAAAAAHH" of frustration and dispair. This mission was suppose to be something cooler and better then standing in a middle of nowhere and one of his least favorate company talking to him for the last few days really not helping at all.

_'Aah...why is this so darn...! _He kicked a pepple harshly.

_**"How about continueing the mission?' **_Sighed Kyuubi. _**"...And besides...the "bunkers" that the scroll mentioned would be three miles away at least..."**_

"How do you know that?" Naruto snorted hotly.

_**"There's a sign on your left..." **_Muttered the deapanned fox.

Turning around he noticed. It was a sign, a very old sign with vines growing on the wooden pole. It said...

**--**

**THIS IS THE LAND IS CALLED "NO MANS LAND" (1) WHERE THE KONOHA AND IWA CLASHED IN AGES TIME, IF YOUR A NOOB VISITOR, PLEASE WATCHOUT FOR HIDDEN BUNKERS LOCATED THREE MILES FROM THIS VERY POST...GOOD LUCK VISITING THE LAND OF STONE, ALL VISITORS ARE WELCOME...EXCEPT THE KONOHA/LEAF!!**

**SIGNED THIRD TSUCHIKAGE**

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Naruto stared at the wooden post before slumping his shoulder.

"...Oh..."

--IWAGAKURE--

"Tsuchikage-Sama! Tsuchikage-Sama!" fluttered a Iwa chunin. Behind him were dozens of chunins and one jounin.** (Tsuchikage means...um...rock leader? lord...stone version of "Hokage"? I dunno...)**

"What is it Iwamaru?" Rasped out an old voice, An old man at least his fifties was sitting on his expenisve "kage chair" and stamping paper as if any other Kage's. He had brown hair and a small beard with a light mix of grey and tells he's either old or just...old. He wore a white robe with gold flames on the bottom. **(Like Sandaime and Ero-Orochimaru in kazekage robes, also I don't know the color to represent Iwa so I just put gold like red flames shows Konoha and blue for Suna.) **He wore a hat similer to the 3rd Hokage except its was gold cornered and a kanji for "Tsuchikage"

The last piece of him of a long and jagged scar trailing up his cheek and down to his chest.

"Iwamaru." Saluted in respect for his military leader. "Hai Tsuchikage! My men and I were exploring the basement as you said until we stumbled an old letter from the previous 2nd Tsuchikage!"

"So?" Said the elder shinobi as he picked his nose dispite the revolted looks he got from his fellow men. "Whad you find?"

This time another Iwa shinobi stepped up, this one was 5'6 and judging from the curves and the..."chest" and her voice...it was a Kunoichi and seemed middle aged. She had brunnete hair tied in a tight bun, a stern looking face and steel rim glasses. She walked up she saluted.

"Tsuchikage-Sama..." She paused for a reaction, which she recieved a grunt. "...During our reserch its seems like during the 3rd Shinobi war..." She was slightly intrupted by a low growl from her leader. "...From the looks of it, one of your own deceased captains gotten his hands on a very powerfull scroll from Konoha and was to be delivered to Iwagakure..." She was yet again stopped by a gasp by the Tsuchikage.

"A scroll you say..." She nodded. "...Continue on..."

Taking a few shuddering breaths. "Um...yes...However the scroll was never brought back and the captain who stole it took it beyond his..." Her eyes widened, Then her body trembled and fell into her knees, the following shinobi also followed her lead as the Tsuchikage released a large dose of klling intent.

"...G-G-Grav-Grave..." She finished with a tremor.

If possible the Tsuchikage began to enment even more killing intent.

He narrowed his aged eyes. The 3rd shinobi war was still a sore subject for him, how long was since those days of bloodshed? 10 years? 13 years? Ah yes it was 13 years and a half. He was just a mere jounin at that time. So many blood and bodies...everywhere. Mostly it was them the shinobi of mighty Iwagakure against the mighty shinobi of that blasted Konohagakure. The reason why the two village fought was forgotten, however in the end it was Konoha who ended up as the victorious one while Iwa was shrugged off of the "loser" side. It was a humilating lost,

_'We could've won if that "Yellow flash" didn't exist!' _He thought bitterly. The "Yellow flash" was one of the reason and maybe in reality the main reason the Stone village backed off. Whenever the "yellow flash" was sighted it was a "run from sight."

Oh how he hated that man...blue eyes, tan skin and the...fucking annoying blonde hair. He fought that man once and lost but not without a shameful scar that on his face that was still noticible clear as day.

Not only that, everytime that blonde bastard shows up all of the plans to win the war goes haywire. When one group suppose to do this and another group does this the "Yellow Flash" have to appear and even one simple plan goes in jumbles! While one group are decimated by the "Yellow Flash"... the other becomes frighten and run in different directions only to be killed at the end!

But after the war it became peaceful however the he was proudly elected as the third Tsuchikage when the old one died from the wounds he recieved from the war and wasn't able to be saved in the end.

Joy came to the land when the Kyuubi no Youko attacked Konoha and destroyed nearly half of their forces and the most joy of all...the Yellow flash who was became the fourth Hokage at that was dead as well.

Pity he couldn't kill that blondy himself.

"So...where is the scroll now?" He glared at her. "...Kiko is it?" She nodded, "...I-If I'm correct...It's still might be buried beneath one of the bunkers and m-maybe deep inside the t-tunnels as well..."

"Alright all of you...I want to see you all in two more days with supplies and head to "No Man's Land"..."The elder twitched. "...Kiko you stay here and as for the rest of ya..." He nodded his head to the others. "...have a nice day..."

One by one the the stone shinobi replied "Hai" before leaving until one.

"...Kiko...You were a fine job for this and for that I give you a break from this mission..." He huffed, Kiko only stared at him. "...You are excused from this mission is what I'm saying..."

"H-Hai!" She saluted before a slight "poof" and she was gone.

--10 minutes later at an old apartment--

A middle age women at 5'6 was taking off her heavy clothing.

"Foolish old man...who does he think he is throwing off all those killing intent!?" Said Kiko as she took off her last clothing leaving her naked. Underneath all that loose clothing was not of a middle aged women but a well sculpted female body with a slight tan. Delicate hands seemed innocant but at the same time its not. Curves and "chest area" that most female would kill for.

She undid the bun and let her brown hair flayed all over her back.

_'Hm...something's not right'... _she thought._ ' ...oh wait!' _She took off her glasses and at last her...nose?

She then grabbed "nose" and pulled on it. Not only her nose came off but her entire face as well. Instead of a bloody face or anything gory, As it turns out it was a mask **(Like Orochimaru as he pulled of that fake face while fighting Anko in the Forest Of Death)** it was in fact another face.

A teenage girl with pretty heartshaped face framed by her brown hair. Black eyes that twinkles with mischief. Soft pale but healthy skin complection and lips even Sasuke would kill to kiss and smooch on.

She bent down and open her suitcase revealing clothing and what also seems to be an impressive amount of ryo. (money?)

She dug inside until a satisfied "Ah!" was heard and pulled out what she was looking for.

_'It's a bit...revealing...but...' _She thought sadly and looked around her. In her apartment there were dirty laundry and other pieces of clothing, due to the fact she's busy with missons she never had time to wash or buy any new set of clothing for the last three years. _'...Oh well, it'll probaly be easier to move and it's better wearing something instead of something!' _She giggled childishly.

She frowned and her eyes hardened.

"However...I am...the survivor of the Mayuri clan...Tsu**kiko** Mayuri..." (2) She closed her eyes.

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In the Tsuchikage office.

"However...I am...The third Tsuchikage...Nobunaga Iwa..." He smashed a sake cup in his hands

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Ten miles away.

"However...I am...The future Hokage...Uzumaki Naruto..." He panted as he ran in high speed.

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"...Will swear on my grave..."

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"...Will swear on my grave..."

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"...Will swear on my grave..."

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**"...Will swear on your ass..." **Said Kyuubi

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_**"...I WILL GET THAT SCROLL!!" **_ She/He/He/It declared.

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_'Two more days to go...two more days to go...two more days to go...what did I do to deserve this?' _Thought Kakashi as he scrubbed miserably on his 52th cat. _'HOW MANY CATS DOES SHE HAVE!?'_

"Oooooooh Kakashi-kuuuun!" Sanged a happy Fire lord's wife who was petting a struggling Tora in her hands. Kakashi smiled at her. "**Y-Y-YES?" **He said though clenched teeth.

"It's time for my spounge bath...!"

THUNK

She looked around to see one Hatake Kakashi lying on the floor.

_'Ugh...just...two...more...days...to Gooooooooo...' _He moaned miserably

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End of chapter 2

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